Name: Don (Dr. Con) Conger
Birthdate: 03/07/1980
Instrument: Alto Sax
Equipment:
Other Jobs: Photographer, Sound Tech, Roadie, Groupie
Previous bands: Love Candy
Favorite Bands: Green Day, Reel Big Fish, The Specials,
The Doors, Barenaked Ladies, Cake, Weezer, Weird Al Yankovic
E-Mail: > drconger@hotmail.com
Born Donald Günter Conger on March 7, 1970, to parents Baxter and Esmerelda Conger in
Frankenstein, Missouri. Born into ablue-blooded, well-heeled midwestern family, young Donald
blossomed. His parents met ten years prior to his birth while they were volunteering with the
well-meaning (though poorly-titled) Peace Corpse. Stationed in Dharamsala, India (located at
the base of the Himalayas), “Bax” and “Ez” became fast friends as they
learned the local Indian customs, mores, and unique talents. Working on a modest farm, Bax and
Ez became proficient in basket weaving, raking, tic lancing, and yak castration. Their mutual and
instant attraction to one another, swiftly flourished; while their arms were deep in yak balls, their
hearts were deep in love. After finishing their one-year commitment, they returned to Baxter’s
hometown in Missouri, got married, and Baxter was made President of his parents’ lucrative
corn-lacquer empire. Eventually, their first and only child, Donald Günter, was born to adoring parents.
Throughout his adolescence, Bax and Ez gave Donald all the necessary love, support, and encouragement;
more importantly, they gave him an ass-load of money to do whatever the flip he wanted. While Donald
excelled in many areas (photography, glass-blowing, Quantum Physics, moving drums) he swiftly assumed
his parents’ philanthropic spirit. After earning his M.B.A from Frankenstein University, he used
his parents’ considerable backing to set up a number of unique (though always fatally-flawed)
slightly-for-profit charitable enterprises. Donald is quoted as saying, “Yeah, my first 37 attempts
were abject failures – there was Save the Wild Turkeys, Knees!, United Alliance Against Candles, Free
Jack Handey, National Society of People With Things, Zesters For Everyone NOW!, Where Did All the
Cicadas Go – awful projects, the lot of ‘em. Then I tried backing bands, for a spell,
such as Don Key Cong, Whole Heap of Zing, Jimmy Legs, We’re All Starzzz, Operation: Throat!,
Sparky Lyle and the Flying Trombones, Oh Yu Rok, Dancy Jumpy Dumpy Dummy – those were all low
points.” Eventually, Don returned to three of his childhood loves: photography, playing the
saxophone, and moving drums and joined the up-and-coming, New-Jersey-based cover band, Jobu.